A couple months ago, I was a mess. I came to this blog far to often to talk about my negative feelings about, if you didn't know then, a sad excuse/attempt of a "relationship". I was confused, hurt and couldn't think to do anything but turn to God. Ultimately, he revealed to me that that situation was not for me and although in the back of my mind I already knew that, the pain was still there. I guess mostly I couldn't get my mind wrapped around how someone could do something so hurtful to someone that they claimed they cared about. But nonetheless, I prayed that my heart be healed and that I one day be given the chance to experience a relationship with someone who genuinely cared for me as much as I cared for them. While I don't wan't to say exactly just yet what God revealed to me he pretty summed it up that I needed to be patient. So, I woke up, wiped my face, picked my head up and decided that I would move on.
And no more than a couple weeks later, unexpectedly I got exactly what I had been praying for. I say unexpectedly because I normally don't pay any guy any attention that tries to talk to me, it just doesn't happen but with him I was instantly interested. He is so genuinely caring, doesn't make me wonder or never makes me second guess his feelings for me. my friends can tell that I am truly happy with just because of the smile I have on my face. Even when we first started getting to know eachother he understood exactly what I had gone through and was not only patient with me but didn't do anything to make me feel like I couldn't let my guard down.
No drama, No worries...just good. And I can't remember the last time I have been this happy. I can't say exactly where we may be headed right now but it feels right. After technically being single for over two years and after going through the BS I had just gotten out of I was hesitant to start anything with anybody but I continually kept the conversation me and God had in my mind and wen't for it. One of my traits that I love the most is the ability to never give up on the thought of love, no matter how bad my heart has been broken I always believed that I was truly capable of being loved and cared for just how I desired. And even if this just so happens not to work out, it won't stop me from being found and open to it again.
Thats the funny things about life and how God works, the things we THINK we wan't the most are often not what we actually need. And I've quickly learned that no matter how hard you try to make those things work, if its not for you no matter what you try it just won't work. But if you be patient and allow God to do what is supposed to be done, you'll quickly realize that he has waiting for you is far and beyond anything you could have ever imagined for yourself.
So here's to being good, and happy and smiling and enjoying every moment of this new thing.