Daily we’re reminded on how we’re not enough by some think piece on what it really means to be phenomenal. You’re told that if you don’t have xyz or look like this person, you’re not going to make it. The hand that you were dealt is not one to be ashamed of or one to lack faith in. Before you’re born, The Divine asks if you’re ready to take on this task, listing ALL the “obstacles” you will face. You reply, yes I am ready, I’m sure that I can accomplish everything that is meant for me. Then comes the obstacles that make you second guess yourself and your ability to prosper. Why me? You ask.. Why NOT you?!
A journey starts with one foot in front of the other, but sometimes the hardest part is getting to your feet. Fulfilling your passion isn’t equipped with the luxury of taking breaks to second guess yourself or get lazy and quit. Your fight to accomplish your passions is never ending.
My journey officially began when I stopped making excuses for not completing my passions and started taking control of my life. Most people think that when (if) you go to college that you’re supposed to have your life completely together and make no “mistakes” once you graduate. Well, I did! I made plenty of mistakes under the same notion that I was supposed to have my life together once I graduated college. My internships that I did while in college weren’t the direction I wanted to go in anymore. The job offers that I had, required me to move away from home at just 21 and I felt that I wasn’t ready. So I played it safe, constantly living vicariously through everyone else around me. I was blessed with a job in my field that allowed my personality and flare to play a big part, but contract work has its pros and its cons. I happened to experience the cons of that job. Here I was, thinking that I failed at life again, depression set in and once again I gave up on my passion towards the end of 2013.
I made a promise to myself as the New Year’s Eve ball dropped that I was going to stop living my life from the back seat of someone else’s car. I am deserving of experiencing happiness and fulfilling my passions, not just supporting others. It’s so easy to put all of your effort into supporting someone else’s passion so much so, you won’t have to feel guilty about not completing your own. Like I said before, it’s easier to live vicariously. I am here to let you know that I kept my promise.
I promised myself that I would be unapologetic for taking the time to be selfish for myself. I began taking care of my body by exercising, eating right and writing. Depression had taken over my life and I forgot that the simplest things brought joy to my life. I set out to get the job of my dreams. One where I can allow my personality and flare to be a part of my being constantly without having to tame it to fit inside of a cookie mold. I’m sure I submitted close to 300 job applications for jobs that I was overqualified for experience wise and some where I “tried my luck”. I went on 5 interviews one of which was my dream job. The negative part of my subconscious (the ego) was trying to get me to settle with one of the job offers, convincing myself that id grow to love it after the year probation and promotion potential. I looked in the mirror one morning after saying my affirmations, and said “stop settling on your dreams. You want this dream job start to see yourself in this position.” I said that reassuring statement of faith in myself and in the universe literally one week before I received the best news of my life. My fifth and final interview out of the 300 applications I submitted resulted in a same day offer from my dream job. We (The Universe, myself, and my kick ass support system) made it. Even while typing this post for one of the strongest supporters in my corner, I’m crying tears of joy. I was so ready to give up and settle because I was unemployed for so long.
Dear Believer, you are enough. Dear Believer, your passion must come first in your life. Dear Believer create your vision boards so that you can see yourself in your dream job. The universe only knows one answer. Thank you to my fairy blog-mother for allowing me to be a guest on her beautiful and inspirational site. You are everything.
-Peace & Love, Andi