Yesterday was one of THOSE days. One of those days where I felt nothing was going right and I was completely fed up and sick and tired of it all. I've been contemplating for awhile going back into the working world. Not because my business completly sucked but because im ready to make moves that Eclectic Star is not able to provide me with at this moment. Yesterday it hit me hard, like to the point to where I was in tears hard. For one I promised myself when I left my last job that I would NEVER do anything that made me feel the way being at that job made me feel. Crying every morning, feeling like I was worthless, being angry and sad all the time. I promised myself that I would starve before I ever felt like that again. Secondly because I don't want to go back working and feel like im giving up on my dreams. I dont want to lose hope in my business and thats what im terrified will happen if i do decide to find a job. I'm good now, my bills are paid and im not starving. But i want that extra cushion. Im at the point now where im researching prospective cities to move to and looking for new cars. Things that i want to happen that im not able to do solely on the income that i have now. Needless to say it put me into a serious funk. I felt myself going into a really bad place so I had to take a step back to remember exactly why i decided to go into business for myself. Eclectic Star is my child and I've worked so hard creating each piece and branding my company. The feeling i get when i am creating is so fulfilling. The feeling of accomplishment when someone tells me how much they love my product is indescribable. And when those new order emails come through its like a high or adrinalin rush. People actually want something that i created with my hands. Man that moment is pure bliss. Some people write some people draw or sing, i create! I bring ideas to life with my hands. I've never been as happy as I am now. Like ever. And without a doubt i know this is what I've been called to do. Now whether i do decide to go back to work for a while or not i will never lose site of that again. The struggle is all apart of the journey and it wont last forever.
With Love, Alisha
*FYI this post was created and edited via my iPad..just look over any errors :)